New Beginnings for an Exhausted Christian
This new beginning shouts for freedom. Freedom from opinions, freedom from restrictions, freedom from family traditions and cultural expectations. You see, my God is bigger than what I've made Him out to be these past few years. These last few years I've put Him in boxes. One labeled Church, another labeled the Bible, and yet another named Performance. While theses boxes are not bad in themselves, in fact, they are wonderful and hold a very important place in our faith walk, however, every now and then, these boxes and tools can become a replacement for the real thing. Real conversation and communion with our Creator. In my experience, with each new box, I lost more and more freedom, freedom to be me, who He designed me to be. I lost the ability to be intimate with Him through relationship because I was investing my time in other places and things. And even though those things were about Him, it was still a sad substitute for the authentic relationship our Lord and Savior wants with each of us.
Let me ask you a question. If you were having problems in your marriage and you did all the things you thought would help like, counseling, self-help workbooks, changing your behavior, etc... would any of that even matter if you did all these things alone and not with your spouse? Maybe it would help you a little, but relationship takes two people. Two in communication. Two willing to commit. Two willing to be intimate on every level. Every feeling, every emotion, every need, every doubt. You see, I knew all this before. I knew what it was like to have an intimate relationship with Jesus before I decided to gain knowledge and wisdom and pummel myself with tasks and reading and studying and doing. It was there all along, the memory of companionship, placed innately inside of me in my mother's womb, but somewhere along the journey for wisdom, my eyes grew dim, and my heart grew distant from my True Love, and our relationship weakened from the weight of the world: rules, expectations and religious lifestyles, traditions and busyness. These new lifestyles replaced what I once had. They grew to replace the simplicity and beauty of relationship. So now, I want to reintroduce myself to the me that's free from societal expectations and soul-draining chains. Today, I remind myself that I am a child of God, set apart, redeemed, made righteous through no help of my own, but by the precious blood of my Messiah, the Christ. My thoughts have always been toward Him. Before I let myself get carried away in "doing" I never once felt as though I was under pressure, it was just an ease that I'd known as far back as I could remember. It was a beautiful thing, me and Jesus. No complications. No strings. Just togetherness.
Please don't misunderstand, I am not saying reading your Bible is bad, or that attending church is wrong, or that doing good things for the Lord is somehow keeping you far from God. I am simply saying that sometimes those wonderful things can replace our communication with the Lord. It is possible to do all these things and still be close to God, I have no doubt about that, but this article is for those believers who often feel heavy and burdened by doing all these things on a daily basis. Everyone responds differently to societal and biblical influences and expectations. Therefore, we have to find what works for us specifically. We need to be courageous enough to ask ourselves, "Is this helping me be closer to God or making me feel distant and frustrated?" "Am I doing these things because it's expected or because I have a loved one that wouldn't understand if I said a certain thing wasn't for me?" These are hard questions to ask ourselves because we often fear that we shouldn't even consider these types of questions, and if we do, people may give us grief for how we 'feel' or 'don't feel' close to God. My husband for example, does not feel close to God through reading the Bible. He doesn't enjoy reading. To him it feels laborious. So, because he doesn't read his Bible every day, does that mean he isn't close to God, does it mean he doesn't love the Lord? No. It does not. Our daily activities and 'to-do's' don't make a relationship successful. If God's love depended on what we do, He would've never went to the cross. He went to the cross because He knew it was the only way to reach us and pull us back to Himself. It's being in His presence that makes the relationship successful, not our activities. Let me gently remind you of something friend, when we care more about traditions and about upsetting the Christian standard or expectations of our pastors or loved ones, we are, in a sense, making and idol out of that tradition. We are saying, "Sorry Lord, I know you would like to take me deeper, but I'm expected to do this certain thing and I can't say no to it, not even for You." May I remind you that when Jesus began His ministry, He turned the religious world upside down. Think about how many times He chastised the Pharisees for their religious activities. Yes, they did many wonderful religious things, and they often felt they were following every little law, and Jewish tradition perfectly, but... they did it all without LOVE, and without RELATIONSHIP.
For me, keeping God out of those three confining boxes works better, because I become too motivated by performance and impressing myself with my Godly activities than I do just simply abiding in Christ and letting Him live supernaturally with me. If going to church feeds you and brings you closer to your Creator, then by all means go. I too will go if I'm that's where the Spirit is leading me. If reading your Bible everyday feels good, please, read it. I did. I'm simply saying that if any of those things leaves you wanting or leaves you feeling unfulfilled, stop, breathe, and pray. Ask your heavenly Father what's missing, He may just answer. He may even say, "You. You're what's missing My child. Just spend time with Me. In case you forgot... I am the Word. I am your instruction. I am your companion. I am working in you, and with you at all times, but you're so busy, you don't even notice."
We must seek Jesus' face. Our relationship with Him is the most valuable way to spend our days on this planet. Everything else will naturally flow out of us as we draw nearer to Him. People will be discipled just by watching you. The hungry will be fed as the Spirit moves you to provide. The love of our Father will be spread far and wide, wherever you go, simply because you are in-tune with His every move and every desire. Your relationship with Him will shine through and bring light to this world without you having to strive and drown yourself in religious activity.
So, my friends, if this article made you feel anything, I hope it helped you ask some hard questions about where you're at in your walk of faith. I hope you are exactly where God wants you to be. I hope you are nestled tightly next to the Holy Spirit and feeling fabulous. I hope you are joyful and filled with the peace of God. And if you're not... then I hope this helps you find your way back to the Father, where all true fulfillment is found. Christian.. beautiful child of God, it's OKAY if your relationship with our magnificent Savior doesn't look like everyone else's. Each relationship is unique and special to Him, just as He created it to be. So be YOU! In Him. And do not fear walking to the beat of your own drum because it's a beat that only you and your Creator can hear. It's a special tune, divine, set apart and unique. So step into it, and I promise, you'll be glad you took the yoke of expectations and traditions off your shoulders. It's called abiding friends. Abiding. So simple. So wonderful. So go, and be free.
God bless you always,
Amber @thegateofgrace.com
"So if the Son sets you free you will be free indeed." John 8:36
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